Lay-off Survivor Pillows

"We're moving your job overseas because the Humane Society won't let us use monkeys here to do your work."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

Office Weather

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Getting through the week.

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

Exhausted employee

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."