Lawn Mower Fans Pillows

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

"What old school? This is my life."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Cow Pilot.

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

At the signing of William C.Lockland's latest best selling wheelbarrow.

God builds the first lawn mower.

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

"We were lucky to find an island with a water feature."

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

The American Farmer: a vanishing breed.

Combined Harvester

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

Caddy With A Cool Box

Septic Fields Forever.

The Wild Won: 'Hey Newtie, what are you rebelling against?'

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'Mate, you've just paid two grand for a T-shirt and a hand-mower.'

The headless moped driver