Lawful Chuckler Prints

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

One way only.

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Jesus Christ

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"...And now show us what you said."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

'...please instruct the puppet to remain silent and let the witness answer for himself.'

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

"Well, I made you a job offer and you accepted. I guess the only thing left is for me to read you your Miranda rights."

'And in order to make the experience of court less intimidating...'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Fisherman: 'Did the DNR say anything about the size of your fish?' Other: 'Yeah. So long.'

IRS, 'Nice try, but you can't deduct your bartender as your 'drinking consultant.''

'Perfectly normal ? everyone loves to see lawyers suffer.'

"For parking in a handicap space, I sentence you to 30 days in a wheelchair!'

'There's a policeman here who thinks I shouldn't be talking on the cellphone while driving.'

Boy accused of vandalism pleads 'limited liability'

'The jury foreman says they need more time to find the quarter they were flipping!'

"Our charity would appreciate a donation, but I am not willing to fight you for it."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"