Law-related Novelty T-Shirts

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Dog Walking Services

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Peel poker.

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Elton John

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Ball Pool Peril

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

Leaking backpack.

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.

Bumper Limos

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

Jurassic Pork

"Relax, just watch out for his left hook."

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

In an operating theatre, a jack-in-the-box jumps our of the patients stomach

Toe-Tickling Machine

"Run, it's a light-sabre tooth tiger."

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care