Law Exploiter Pillows

"I appreciate the new campaign finance laws, but I miss the thrill of getting around the old ones."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Stop and Birch

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"#notguilty."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

Intellectual Property

Violent Crime Statistics

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"They're class action figures."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lady Justice.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.