Laughing At Unusual Honors Gifts

"I need to tinkle."

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Turtle chick.

'Oh dear.'

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

"What are you doing?!"

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

Santa gets caught short.

Clancy: Forthright Opinions

"I'd like to thank Ed for not cutting the grass and farmer Moley, who didn't slaughter me."

"Looks like the sign-writers are on strike."

"No dear, you don't look 40. Those days are past."

'Actually, this is the award I'm proudest of.'

"O.K., who said 'Mazel tov?'"

Prisoner's Shadow.

"Ok Mr. Mosley, before we go, would you fill in these forms and complete the questionnaire - not forgetting to leave feedback regarding your judgement-day experience. . ."