
"King and clown—why can't I be both?"
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"King and clown—why can't I be both?"
"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?
"So what kind of mood is he in?"
"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."
"If I might be serious for a moment..."
A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'
"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."
Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'
"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"
'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'
"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."
"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."
'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'
You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.
'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'
'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'
Pastoring for Dummies
'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'
President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.
Tragedy and Material
'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'
Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.
Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .
Wheels for all purposes.
'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'
Pigeon Breeders' Association.
"A fellow human being to see Mr. Driscoll."
Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.
"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."
"I think I'd be better at leading if I could yell louder."
Learn to Laugh at Yourself
"Maybe yes. Maybe no."
'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'
'The head of our script department!'
'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'
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