Large Family Meal Pillows

Catering for a large family.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

A man and baby wearing bibs

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Fridge-to-table"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."