Language Tweaker Mugs

"You have a left distal prismatic distortion with a cylindrical f1 of -0.25,double astigmatism and a right eye spherical axis bias - in short Mr Wormold,you're as blind as a bat."

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Another thing?never use the term 'touchy-feely' as a negative.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Bull Pen

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

Succeed

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

"Like my old man used to say: 'No news is bad news not yet undelivered.'"

Ventriloquist's fete

Kettle Drum

Adjusted sales pitch: 'Congratulations! You may already be a non-winner.'

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

Medical Bracelet

Penfriend

'Don't leave behind any D-N-A. Or E-Y-E, A-R-M or L-E-G.'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne