Landlord-tenant Relations Prints

'Look out! The landlord's arrived for his yearly tip.'

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'No ice.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I know it's gassy...'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Shaken not stirred

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

Barman In Love.

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"Just water for me, please."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'What happened to your hand.'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"What'll ya have?"