Landing A Job In A Fortune 500 Company T-Shirts

'We now serve 'Fortune 500' fortune cookies!'

The Rubber Ball Company

My brilliant career

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"Tom, it's come to my attention that you're trolling for a better job, using your company computer."

"You like to take credit for other people's successes, and blame others for your mistakes. Woodly, you have management potential!"

"Remember Donaldson? He went up the career ladder higher and higher and now he is in cloud-cuckoo-land."

Bear Office Worker

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

'Trust me, I've forgotten more about the law than this old fool of a judge has ever known.'

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

"Being nice to people on the way up didn't work!"

'The reason we pay our CFO, Hargrove the big bucks is so we don't have to pay OTHERS the big bucks.'

"Your next of kin is going to inherit a lot of money."

Deep pockets on line two.

Well done, Plimpton. You're hired.

Does that mean we got the War Office contract, Harris?

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Why did you offer the job to this one?'

'We have a new face amongst us.'

'Great Resume. Possibly your best ever.' A first impression is very important, no matter how many tries it takes.

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

Ted suddenly realized the importance of 'looking out for number one.'