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"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .

"Look, son, real estate."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

"Sold his air rights."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'