
"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."
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"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."
The Gingerbread Man's cousin, the hash cookie man.
"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"
Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!
"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"
"I said to make a thousand CLONES."
'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'
"5...4...3...2..."
'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'
Police Lineup Escape
'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'
Minority Report Is Real
'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'
Upload Filter
"Wait!"
Covid Babies
"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."
"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."
"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."
'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'
'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'
"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."
COVID-19
Decision on the flip of a coin...
"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."
"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"
"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."
"I take it the defense rests."
"Why take chances? I say, I'm self-isolating, and will be drinking from home for a couple of weeks."
'ARRGH! Run for it lady!' 'A swarm of Bs!!' A guy running away from a swarm of the actual letter B
Jim's Mowing Services
"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."
"You, more than anyone, should understand the concept of social distancing."
'We serve comfort food in a laid back atmosphere, so lower your expectations, be prepared to wait, and I'll be back for your order unless I go home.'
Husband check
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