Laddering Pillows

'That's our corporate ladder.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Man building a tree house

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I want to reach the number one spot at Google.'

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

"I should've expected this when my boss said I was moving up."

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

Ice Cream.

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

Know Your Knots!

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

When's the truck going to be fixed?

"Here you go; a tie to make your belly look smaller."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

"I've been working in the mail room for over 6 months. I was hoping to be at least a CEO by now."

Trilby - 'Oon pair de gong blong'.

"It's new. We call it the Thatcher Look."

Annual Convention of Procrastinators: 'Where is everybody?'

"As you're good with numbers, you can do the scoring in tonight's darts match."

Three Bears Bed and Breakfast. Rated Four Stars by Goldilocks.

'Sure, it's too big, but all your friends will think you've lost weight!'

'All we've got in at the moment is Lincoln Green.'

'Welcome to our staff. Here's a curriculum guide, a roll book, and a bag of tricks.'

"Do you mind, Mrs Trimble! I'm about to conduct a christening!"

'Never ever will I move by train again.'