Ladder Scaler Gifts

Career opportunities

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

"It's a dog eat dog world, Finkstrom."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

Upward Progress

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

Building business relations.

Texturing the Walls

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Ladder of Success.

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

Painting

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

'That's our corporate ladder.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."