Ladder Scaler Gifts

Career opportunities

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

"It's a dog eat dog world, Finkstrom."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

Upward Progress

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

Building business relations.

Texturing the Walls

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Ladder of Success.

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

Painting

'That's our corporate ladder.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."