Labour Relations Pillows

'Well I don't see any harassment from your union colleagues.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

The Hockey World

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"I'm a bit concerned the staff don't respect me, they've given me a nickname."

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

'I'm not saying he's going to chew you out, but he skipped breakfast and lunch.'

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

Team Building Exercises

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"Under our new definition of 'what is a sale?', he hasn't made any this year."

"I'm aware that you brought a high-powered agent...are you aware that this job pays $26,382 and nine cents per year?"

Labor-Management Non-Relations

Wage Slavery

"Between you and me he's not the easiest man in the world to work for."

'In grandfather's day, the government didn't coddle workers, and we got along just great.'

'It's important to be able to express anger, Winthrop, but not in my presence.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Don't tell the employees, but management has acquired their union."

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

'I'll take that as a screwed up ball of paper bouncing off my head then?'

The Shepherd's Staff. . .