Labor Law Gifts

"We do not take three-hour lunches in this company, Swanson."

The strongest union gets to squeeze the last drop of the GNP...

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

The International and May Day Terrorism

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

"We need a union!'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"We'll take a 10% cut in benefits if you'll take a 10% cut in stock options."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Instead of raising the minimum wage, we should lower it to $4.00 an hour and create more jobs. Plus, low wages would encourage car pooling."

Telekinetics on strike...

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Labor Day '19

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"Old economy, new economy - some things never change."

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'