Lab Laugher Prints

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"Listen, if this takes much longer I'll be late for work and I'll be a dead man!"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Coast to coast.

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

Jim's Mowing Services

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jury Bribes.

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

Bad Ant Joke

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

Escaping surgery.

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

'I can't get this laptop to work.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'