Kitchenware Sales Associate T-Shirts

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

Origin of the 'spork'

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

The History of Anti-stick

Flatware Follies.

"You were warned about inter-utensil relationships."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

Who wants to lick the swatters.

A spoon you can run away with, but a spork is the kind of practical utensil you marry.

"So much to do... so little time."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

'You've got irritable bowl syndrome.'

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

Pop-up toaster.

He sold appliances.

A watched kettle never boils.

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.