Kitchen Virtuoso Mugs

'All right Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

Busy woman

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Dancing Chicken - A chicken tries to save itself by performing a song and dance routine.

'I'll just dumb this down for ten minutes...'

Whistling tea kettle.

"I idolised him, then I saw his kitchen!"

Come dine with me!

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Jack of all trades

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

Hungry child

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Like death by salad.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Benihana style of cooking.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."