'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'
Kitchen Timer Master Pillows
Add comfort and humor with a pillow that pays homage to the culinary timing expert—great for their kitchen nook or cozy spot to unwind after a day of creating.
Jack of all trades
"They grow up so fast."
'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'
"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"
'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'
Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.
GMOs: The Next Generation
"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."
"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"
"I'd like to toast our guests."
Kiss the Commander in Chef
The dress uniform of the Catering Corps
"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"
"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."
"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"
A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.
National Coffee Day
Onion Tears
F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!
"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."
The secret lives of household things.
"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"
"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"
10 Commandments if God was a Woman...
"Doctor. I am speechless"
Cook being told what to do by housemaid
"How 'local' is the fish?"
'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'
"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."
'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'
"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."
'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'
Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.
'I'll have the 'All of the above.''
Kitchen Timer Master Pillows Collection
Kitchen Timer Master Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs designed for the kitchen timer master—bring humor and practicality to every coffee or tea break.
Kitchen Timer Master Prints
Browse our stylish prints for the kitchen timer expert—embellish their culinary space with personality and fun.
Kitchen Timer Master T-Shirts
Discover fun and witty t-shirts for the kitchen timer master—perfect for casual days and cooking adventures.