Kitchen Keener Mugs

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

Counting ribs

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Allotment

Soup of the month.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

A Day In The Kitchen

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Salt and Pepper

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

The Perfect Foil

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'