Kitchen Dancer T-Shirts

Baking Bread

Pancake toss

Come dine with me!

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

Hungry child

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'