Kitchen Companion Mugs

"Are you as excited as I am?"

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

I've spent much less time with other people recently, but my refrigerator and I have never had a closer relationship.

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'

'Have you seen the floor cloth anywhere?' - 'What colour is it?' - 'Green.' - 'No, I definitely haven't seen a green floor cloth.' - 'All I have is this turqoise dish cloth that I found under the fridge.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

Baker Romance

Reading the sports pages.

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

Running Latte

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"I'm unable to process this image."

Wedding Chefs

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Boy baking a cake.

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"You have arrived at your destination."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Things were going along great with Greg and me, and then the 'Diceman' returned."

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

Tin Opening

Cook and Octopus