Kingdom Storyteller T-Shirts

'There's no business like show business.'

'Boy, when the King says mandatory retirement, he MEANS mandatory retirement!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Don Quixote

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

Rocket Ark

Despite some initial reservations, the knights were often grateful for Guinevere's presence at the Round Table.

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

"So that's Ireland."

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

Old soldiers at Dunkirk. Politically correct guy:'Sorry old boys-can't have you upsetting Johnny Foreigner, you know'

Why the dodo became extinct

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Humpty Dumpty hit a wall, and all the kings' men and all the kings' motorcycles' couldn't put him back together again.'

'Pastor, tell us more about hell. Is it warm there?'

"Hang on, shouldn't you be drawing yourself screaming and running in the opposite direction?"

'To absent teeth.'

"We prefer 'near-eastern', it's friendlier than 'mid-eastern'."

'The 'Lord's Prophet,' eh? - I don't remember voting for you!'

Jean Chretien talks about the election

'There's a world-wide community out there. How about a little French or Spanish, or even some Russian, once in a while.'

"Hi. First time, long time. Second marriage, second mortgage. Forty years old, forty pounds overweight. No question - I just like talking about myself."

'Remember, me, anything short of victory, and civil war buffs will be replaying your defeat in battlefield re-enactment for generations to come.'

'Well, looking back, I suppose it was a mistake to sue the king.'

"So I said to her, I said"

No sound bite, please help.

The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'

'You think a laissez-faire economy might be better, eh? -- do you have any idea what kings bring on the open market?'

Edward the Elder

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."