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Book on Thumb Twiddling

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

The Work-from-Home-Polka

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"How are we on bread?"

I bake my own bread.

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

"You're closer. You get it."

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

"Harry wasn't born great and he hasn't achieved greatness, but he figures there is always the chance that greatness may be thrust upon him?"

Johannes Brahms.

Sergei Rachmaninov

Baking Bread

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

'I've tried giving him lots of E numbers - but still nothing...!'

"Hello Loft Living? Could you send a rescue party to suburbia?"

Oh no! Here comes another lecture on the joys of loft living!

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

Lobster playing keyboard

'I'm John Glynn. My dad is your dad's boss. Give me that swing.'

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'Ralph doesn't believe in catch and release'