Kindergarten Wrangler T-Shirts

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"I'm so good at this!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

"Where's your nose?"

'Beware of teething baby.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

Parenting Business Deals

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

The First Day Back

Quiet Time

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

Babies