Kimchi Connoisseur Pillows

Boss? Why'd a truck just deliver fifty boxes of kimchi to the café? It's just good business, minion. Did you know that before he was president, Donald Trump was known for failing at least as often as he succeeded? Six bankruptcies … Trump Airline … Trump Steaks ... Who else could manage to bankrupt a casino in Atlantic City? You never know if he's going to turn a winning situation into a total flop. Odds are 50/50 we'll see North Korean tanks rolling into town any day now, and you can bet they'l

Flying sauces.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

Imagine

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

What's Their Secret?

"I feel a draft."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

Documentation Please

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

'What have you got?'

The Mayo Clinic

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

Blue wine

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"Needs ketchup."

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

Woolly tofu.