Keyboard Critic T-Shirts

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that every person in possession of a negative opinion must be in want of a keyboard."

No Elgar!

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

A woman playing a keyboard

Filling the Missile Gap

Bill Bailey

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

The band.

The Escape Key

The Real Russian history

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

A 60's pop group

'To much orange.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"Pressing the escape key won't get you out of the boss' doghouse."

Organ transport team

"I just know I have a great password in me."

Claviers

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"My cat just gave me the greatest password! She walked across my keyboard."

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'