Kernel Conqueror Prints

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

Rage.

Keeping warm.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Second lifeReal life.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

A guide to seasons in the North East

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Are you kidding, Billy? We climbed all the way up Everest and you forgot the freaking sleds?!'

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

A day in the life of a dish sink

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Access Denied!

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

The Colonel at home.

Physics: Unified Theory. Luftkopf's work on string theory is all tangled up.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"