Kernel Conqueror Pillows

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

Rage.

Keeping warm.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Second lifeReal life.

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

A guide to seasons in the North East

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Are you kidding, Billy? We climbed all the way up Everest and you forgot the freaking sleds?!'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

Access Denied!

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

A day in the life of a dish sink

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

The Colonel at home.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"