Keenly Observant T-Shirts

'I know I just met you, but I already hate you. It saves time.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"I think he just ashed on me."

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

A child and a babysitter gazing out of a window

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

"I wonder where they nest..."

The Manipulation of Justice

'Watch this space.'

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

Sushi bar Chef: DARN Sushi train spotters!

Shy Man at Party

'What part of 'nature' do you not get?'

"Eight hours and still not a bird to be seen."

"Addiction to fossil fuels is mutually assured destruction."

Nice to see you!

Planet Hollywood gets Bad News.

"You have an anti-addiction...everyone just hates you!"

"My comfort zone is some distance away from the brink but close enough to see competitors go over it."

"Looking at all the stars in the sky makes me feel cosmically mindful—all my earthly concerns meaningless in the breadth of what I now witness. I’d have a better view if the Lewises would cut down those useless pine trees... Curious if those damn things are on my property. I’ll call the town surveyor in the morning and see if I can get those stupid trees removed. I hate having neighbors..."

"At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we shall remember them."

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

Animal Hospital

Trolling on social media

"There go the accountants. Yessiree, down South for the winter. Of course, they'll be back in time for tax season..."

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

Displaying Christian symbol deemed offensive.

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'