Justice System Humorist T-Shirts

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'Did you, or did you not, say to the plaintiff,'I'm going to stooky you into next week, you wee bam'?'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I got probation."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

TOO SLOW

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

"We need two crates of lager and a bottle of scotch."

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

"We find the defendant very telegenic."

Santa Claus wanted poster.

"May we have a recess your honor? My client's pants are on fire."

'The Jury has found you not guilty of robbery.'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, don't let my parents think they wasted money sending me to law school!"

'We request a change of venue to a place where the juries are more naive.'