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'You're right, it really does make everything taste better!'

Trial by Media

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"Now that's a win."

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Anti-war libra.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

Stop and Birch

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."