Justice Humor Prints

'Your Honor, we feel that the prosecutor has done a 'bang up job', and the defendant has suffered enough.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

"Guilty times infinity."

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

Small Clams Court

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

'If the members of the jury would look under their seats, they will all find a lovely gift from my client. . .'

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'Your Honor, do we need the jury judging my performance?'

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

Babies look so innocent. The trick is finding a really cranky jury.

"You've had the law explained to you. Now as you deliberate I want you to look into your hearts and find a loophole."

"Hey! You're supposed to be a hanging judge."

'How come you lock up the jury overnight, and send the prisoner home?'

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

I know what you mean

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

'I hear this judge gives everyone just a slap on the wrist.'

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

'The motels are full, Your Honor -- could we maybe sequester the jury at your house?'

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'