Just Because Gift T-Shirts

'I talk to myself because I'm the only one who LISTENS!'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Picking pastries.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Cupcakes!

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"You got this, Nana."

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

Social distance queue starts here

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Solitaire card shark.

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Other People

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

'I'm sorry, Marvin, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012.

"We need to think about raising your profile ..."

'Nice talking to you, but would you please excuse me? I need to get some air...'

"I got the best gift ever! A phone call from my brother in Afghanistan!"

'You've been looking a little scrawny lately.... Hey!— You're not missing another rib, are you?'

Helicopter as a clothes drier

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

'Cheer up, Lenny -- We all have our bad decades.'

Garden Centre - "...she thinks she's getting a mink coat!"

'We use dialup since it gives us more time to meditate.'

"I prefer to think of myself as an opinion former."

"I have this 'I love Susie' tattoo on my chest and I married Doreen yesterday!"

The cat version of a gumball machine filled with mice.