Jury Duty Joker Mugs

"It looks like a hung jury...half of them want the chicken salad, the other half want the ham."

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

"Look at it this way, Conroy—the longer they stay out, the longer you're a free man."

"So, ... how's jury duty?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Court's in recess!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Repeat after me..."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'Hey, it won't be so bad -- why, I'm doing community service myself right now.'

TOO SLOW

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."