Jury Duty Dodgers T-Shirts

'Mind if I borrow some of your 'infirm' stuff to get out of jury duty?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

This is my story and I'm stickin with it!

"I'm the designated driver."

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

"take your best shot, counselor."

"We find the defendant guilty because he doth protest too much."

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.

'So why are so worried? I'm leaving my fate in the hands of 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.'