Juror With A Side Hustle Pillows

'We may have been a hung jury for three weeks, but I did get a chance to sell 11 magazine subscriptions for my kid's school field trip fund.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Court's in recess!'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

Antonin Scalia

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

'No need to text me your answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

With Jury Duty for All