Junkyard Philosopher Pillows

"It's found crap."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"They’re real."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."

"Can you milk a cow?"

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

'Let's see... two clucks, three baas, one quack, two oinks, and eight neighs- once again, the neighs have it.'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

The Weekly Poultry Reading was Short-Lived.

'Why don't you try to think outside of the trough once in a while?'

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!