Juice Making T-Shirts

Orange House of Horrors

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'One eye of newt or two?'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Easy chair exercise machines

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

'I could have had a V-8!'

'And that comes with a special tulip sauce...He calls it Holland Days.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"And now from downtown!"

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

'I'm hoping to marry someone like my mom. Someone who will greet me at the door with a cold juice box.'

"Of course it tastes funny. . . there's hair of clown in it!"

"I don't know about a playdate, why don't we just meet up for some juice boxes and see how it goes?"

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'Can I lick the spoon, Mom?!'