Judicial Juggler Mugs

EXEC ORDER

'We're only stimulating the economy in the legal community.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

That party went well.

Stop and Birch

Arrogant junior barrister

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Sports Lawyers

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Swiss army justice.

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'Okay, the jury acquitted you, but I'm going to hold you five years for questioning.'