Judicial Humorists Mugs

Start the day with a laugh! Our judicial humorist mugs showcase witty court jokes and legal puns, perfect for lawyers and judges who love a good laugh with their morning coffee.

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'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.' mockup

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

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'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?' mockup

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

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"Judgement Day: Division Four"

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"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head." mockup

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

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Patent Attorney (invisible man)

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'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?' mockup

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

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"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!" mockup

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

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"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?" mockup

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

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"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt." mockup

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

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"I must insist on my lawyer present." mockup

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

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'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.' mockup

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

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"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun." mockup

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

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Loopholes

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'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.' mockup

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

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"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!" mockup

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

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'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?' mockup

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

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"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now." mockup

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

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'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...' mockup

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

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'I got a suspended sentence.'

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'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.' mockup

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

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Fairtale prosecutions.

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"Impartiality becomes you."

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"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court." mockup

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

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Antonin Scalia

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How was I supposed to know she was under age?

How was I supposed to know she was under age? mockup

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

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Justice

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'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.' mockup

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

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"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

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My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

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