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Baby gift

Father's Day

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'She's just great with the children.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Werewolves of London..."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."