Joking Around Master Mugs

"No, you still look fat."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

King Pin

(Singing) 'Doctor, what's wrong with me?' 'Staff in-fec-tion.'

'Always the wise guy.'

Up your end.

No, sir, that entr

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

"He's surprisingly sensitive about heckling."

Dog Dreams

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

Comedy course highlights fake nose

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

A Dummy Corporation.

'When you discovered your bark was worse than your bite, you decided to see me?'

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"Your early stuff was funnier."

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

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