Jokester Chef Gifts

'Our food has the top Michelin rating.' 'The food or the tyre?'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

Some card-game puns

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"I've got writer's block."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'