Joke Journeyer Mugs

"Behold the secret to happiness."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

Airport Security.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

The Paper Route

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

Farts.

"Excuse me, Captain, but one of the passengers would like to know if you could land in a field so they can make a quick phone call."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'Our fifteenth anniversary -- the adventure continues!'

Alf and Misery Guts

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'Backseat driver...'

"I'm just saying. . . it wouldn't have hurt to check the price of an airline ticket."

The bus home.

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

A person thinking happy thoughts that insulate him from the gloom around him

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

Pamplona bull instructions - Running with the Idiots.

Lav-Mummie

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

'I see Wavecrest's changed hands...'

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

Bike Rides