Joke Aficionado Prints

"That was funny like a thousand miles ago."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'Are you having a bad day?', 'Yeah -- I started out on the wrong foot.'

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

Actual vs. imagined response.

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

What could have been quite possibly the most hilarious dog joke ever is interrupted by. . . 'So I said, that's no bone, that's my. . . squirrel!'

Lost to antiquity.

Egyptian: 'I want you to build a 3-D triangle for the Pharaoh.' Slave says, 'Sounds like some kind of pyramid scheme.'

'Three years in a mental hospital? That's good, because it helps to be a little crazy to work here.'

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"My guess is you've been telling too many sick jokes."

"Stop me if you heard this one."

"I could tell you why I crossed the road, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Why do they do that?"

'Ooh... Bless you!'

Joke Shop - Please Knock Knock.

Family therapy clinic - Joke do jour: What's the difference between an inlaw and an outlaw? An outlaw is always wanted."

'You're not making it any easier for either one of us.'

We don't have poached eggs. How about an elephant tusk?'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

The Hangman's Bane: 'Is there a problem?'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'I swerved to avoid a child, then fell out of bed.'

'I'm sorry I can't help you - they just pay me to sit here and look pretty.'

What's normal?

"I know the king and queen were not amused, but the rest of us thought it was funny as hell."

Lanard, Bonwell, Wilson & Brockman: Based on the standup comedy of Steve Lanard

"A priest, a wise man, and a magus walk into a barn ..."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Your former boss. Pack your things Frank."

"Okay, you're hired. But with this king you must bring along a jest explainer."

Cartoonists on a Desert island.