Joining A Legal Department Pillows

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"I like the idea of becoming a prosecutor: charging people appeals to me..."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

'Have you not noticed that our legal department is crawling with lawyers!'

"Looks good to me, but let's run it by the lawyer first, just to see how illegal it actually is."

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

"It's legal – but not entirely."

'Trust me, I've forgotten more about the law than this old fool of a judge has ever known.'

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

Richard gets the third degree.

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

Deep pockets on line two.

"Welcome to the company, Barnes. All we have to do now is mark you with our brand."

"The business of crime DOES pay. It pays our salaries!"

'I take it, you're just starting out.'

'I need somebody to run this by legal. Anyone in the office wearing sneakers?'

'We have a new face amongst us.'