Joinery Mugs

Wine Making Society (Press buzzer on the floor).

'Now we can receive e-mail!'

Jack of all trades

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

D.I.Y

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Guide to Carpentry Fish

How Swordfish Are Born

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'